Thomas G Havener

Thomas G. Havener—Tommy to his family and Tom to his friends—generous and beloved husband, gifted tax attorney, brilliant writer, sometime journalist, wry and ingenious wit, and the likely inspiration for Oscar the Grouch, died suddenly and unexpectedly on Wednesday, August 5, 2026, in Pensacola, Florida. He was 65. While his death was unanticipated, it followed a long and arduous illness.

Tom was born in Cleveland, Ohio and educated in the Lyndhurst/South Euclid schools. At the age of 20, Tom experienced a catastrophic fall that resulted in multiple spinal cord injuries, which caused permanent paralysis. In a moment, Tom went from a lifeguard, swim instructor, and downhill Alpine skier to a paraplegic. Despite his injuries, he returned to Ohio State after missing only a single quarter, to a schedule of ½ classes and ½ rehabilitation. He graduated from The Ohio State University in 1983, one quarter behind his cohort. After a gap year dedicated to rehabilitation, Tom attended Case Western Reserve University School of Law, where he was Articles Editor of the Law Review. He graduated with his Juris Doctor in 1987 and then practiced law at Squire, Sanders & Dempsey (as was), where he became a partner in 1997 and remained until 2008.

Tom spent the fall of 1996 and early 1997 in Anchorage, Alaska, working on a client’s tax dispute. There he met Kathleen Balthrop Costello, one of many co-counsel, who said—before she met him but heard his voice on someone else’s answering machine—“I swear I would marry that man just to listen to him talk.” Tom lost his heart to Kathleen just as quickly. His first comment was, “I swore I would never marry unless I could walk down the aisle. I just changed my mind.” Nine months after their first date, they married in Cleveland at a ceremony filled with joy, laughter, and not a little surprise. They celebrated their 29th wedding anniversary in July, just 17 days before Tom’s death.

Tom and Kathleen lived in Chagrin Falls, Ohio from 1997 until 2016, when—after a short interval in Carolina—they moved to Washington, DC. Tom was a tax lawyer at Ballard Spahr in DC until he fell ill in 2019 and retired. They moved to Kathleen’s hometown of Pensacola, Florida in October 2025.

Aside from Kathleen and all his family, Tom loved so many things. Among them, he loved the hawks, turtles, frogs, deer, wolves, bobcats, and whatever other creatures visited the Haveners’ property in Chagrin Falls. He especially loved the first “peepers” every year that signaled the end of winter.

He adored Paris; Impressionist art; sculpture of any kind, notably peculiar yard art along the roads. He loved driving, road trips, photography, and skiing. He treasured the desert Southwest; the National Parks; his voluminous collection of fossils, animal skulls, and pelts; and—most fervently—rocks of all vintages and varieties no matter where or by whom they were discovered. In his treasure-trove are fossils and rocks noted and gathered by his stepdaughters’ children, who proudly brought him their discoveries, which he carefully stashed in his pockets with (mysteriously) hidden pride and joy.

He loved the other kind of rock as well, in particular the classic variety, especially The Who—(“unparallelled ever”), Lynyrd Skynyrd’s “Freebird” (“cool!”, Led Zeppelin—(“if the radio is playing ‘Stairway to Heaven’, it must be Christmas,”) Robert Plant (even with Alison Krauss), Tom Petty, The Beatles together and separately, Bob Dylan, Jackson Browne, Joan Baez—indeed, Tom’s playlist was endless but well-worn and well-loved.

Tom also enjoyed old movies—especially if they were older than he. He treasured 1960s and ‘70s television shows, the New York Times, the Washington Post, the Internal Revenue Code of 1986, Princess Diana, and Nicolle Wallace of MSNow. He devotedly followed all Cleveland sports teams and he adored without question The Ohio State Buckeyes.

Tom is survived by his wife, Kathleen Balthrop Havener; three stepdaughters, Nora (Thomas) Hébert, Nell Quest, and Sheila Rose Flynn; five step grandchildren; his siblings Jane (Jay) Jeffery and Paul (Janet) Havener of Ohio, five nieces and nephews (Michael, Jill, Maureen, and Katherine Havener, and Paul Emerson (with their spouses and children)); three dearly loved cousins, Blake (Barb) and Brad (Vanessa) Brewster and Steve (Katrina) Havener (with Brad’s generations); eight Balthrop siblings and their partners, together with their 25 children and their partners and children; and many friends of varying vintages who loved him very much, in particular Martha Swain, Karen McKenna, Beth Kaye, and Ann Brashear. He was preceded in death by his parents, Vernon L. and Lois Courtney Havener; his Aunt Leatha (Skip) Brewster, his uncle Bob ((Patti, Liz) Havener; his father-in-law Ed Balthrop; and brothers-in-law Tim Flood and Van Lewis.

At a date yet to be determined, Tom’s remains will be returned to Summerfield, Ohio where he spent his childhood summers, a place he held always close to his heart.

Tom was blessed to have had so many who held him dear. Privately, Tom called them his “beloveds”—even if in life he called them seldom if at all.

Tom was rich in love. He was one-of-a-kind and will be greatly missed.